How Food, Music & Rituals Help Us Remember and Heal
A Dialogues About Death Show Recap — Episode 27
Grief doesn’t end after the funeral. We remember the people we love in the everyday moments — the song that makes us pause… the smell of a favorite recipe… the familiar holiday tradition that suddenly feels different.
On Episode 27 of Dialogues About Death, Chris Miller, owner of Thomas Miller Mortuary & Crematory, and Mary “MobileMary” Barnett explore how food, music, and simple rituals can help families feel connected long after a loss.
And yes — this conversation was inspired by a super special event…
🎬 Movie Night in the Mortuary: Celebrating Day of the Dead
Thomas Miller Mortuary is hosting a FREE family event:
- Disney Pixar’s Coco
- Friday, November 7th
- Fresh popcorn + beverages
- In the historic Corona Chapel
- Limited seating — registration required
Coco is the perfect way to honor Day of the Dead — a cultural tradition built around remembrance, love, and storytelling. It reminds us that sharing memories keeps our loved ones close.
👉 Register here: m.ThomasMiller.com (First come, first seated — line opens at 6:30 pm, movie starts at 7.)
🎵 Music: The Soundtrack of a Life
Music has a way of opening our hearts. It can:
✔ evoke powerful memories ✔ help us tell a loved one’s story ✔ bring comfort during the hardest moments
Chris shared how funerals used to rely mostly on traditional church music… But today, services are beautifully personalized:
- Country music for the family cowboy
- Cultural music for different backgrounds
- Classic rock for lifelong fans
- Favorite worship songs or love songs
Thomas Miller Mortuary even creates a custom video tribute with personal photos and meaningful songs — a keepsake families can watch anytime they need comfort.
And you don’t need a funeral home to do this every day:
🎧 Create a playlist filled with your loved one’s favorite songs 💬 Share stories about why each song matters 🏡 Play it during holidays, cooking dinner, or moments of reflection
Music helps us feel the love again.
🍽️ Food: Tasting the Love That Lives On
One viewer shared how she made her grandfather’s handwritten meatloaf recipe — and how special it felt to nourish her family with a dish filled with memories.
Food carries stories:
- Grandma’s cookies every Christmas
- Dad’s famous BBQ rub
- Mom’s chicken soup when someone was sick
Preparing a favorite family recipe becomes a ritual of remembrance — a way to say,
“You are still part of our table.”
🏠 Rituals in the Home: Keeping Memory Close
Rituals don’t have to be big or public.
Small, everyday gestures can bring comfort:
📌 A keepsake tucked into a bookshelf 🕯️ Lighting a candle on birthdays and anniversaries 🌸 Displaying their favorite flower 🎨 Hanging up holiday décor they loved 👼 A symbolic item — like angels throughout Chris’s home for his late wife
These tiny touches whisper:
“You’re still here with us.”
Mary shared a sweet story of an aunt who kept a toy of her late child in each room — a quiet reminder of love that never fades.
🌍 Honoring Culture — and Creating New Traditions
Every family grieves differently. Today, many families are beautifully blended in:
- Culture
- Religion
- Customs
- Generations
If traditional rituals from one side of the family don’t feel quite right — adapt them.
Create something new that honors your family:
🔥 Build the backyard fire pit Dad always wanted ✍️ Finish Mom’s dream of writing a book 🥾 Run a marathon in your loved one’s honor 🎥 Record grandparents sharing stories for future generations 🎂 Host a yearly celebration of all loved ones gone but never forgotten
The heart of remembrance is simply… love, shared.
🎃 Join the Community: More Upcoming Events
📍 Dos Lagos Halloween Event Oct 31 | 4–7 PM — Candy, community, and some “authentic mortuary items” 👀 (don’t miss it!)
📺 Next Dialogues About Death Nov 21 — Grief, traditions, and the holidays
Follow on social to stay up-to-date 📲
❤️ Closing Thoughts
Grief is a journey — and we aren’t meant to walk it alone.
Whether through:
✨ A song ✨ A recipe ✨ A small ritual ✨ A shared story
…each act of remembrance reminds us that love doesn’t end when life does.
Come gather with us. Come laugh with us. Come remember with us.
We can heal — together. 💛